The poem explores the theme of selfishness in relation to marriage. The first line shows sarcasm due to the informal word 'oh.' Arnold is considered less selfish than Larkin because he has a wife and children whereas Larkin only has to defend for himself.
'He's married a woman to stop her getting away now she's there all day'
Arnold married a woman to 'stop her getting away' which suggests marriage stops you from having freedom, therefore marriage is an unpleasant situation from which it is hard to escape. The woman is now 'there all day' suggesting oppressive company, the marriage is clearly unhappy. Nevertheless, Arnold's wife is presented as the 'woman' which generalises women implying that they are all the same, subsequently forming sexism. This also indicates a lack of affection in the marriage which relates to 'Talking in Bed.'
'And the money he gets for wasting his life on work she takes as her perk'
A tone of sexism is used which classifies the female as gluttonous and self-indulgent. His wife takes his money as her 'perk' suggesting that she is selfish. However, she uses this to pay for 'the kiddies' clobber and the drier and the electric fire' which eradicates the idea that she is full of greed. This also creates a negative outlook on marriage and family life because you have to provide for others, essentially leaving you with no money for yourself.
'He has no time at all'
Arnold has 'no time at all' for himself, he cannot even 'read the evening paper' because he has to 'put a screw in the wall.' This implies that Larkin finds the prospect of matrimony extremely unappealing because it's a presentation of hardship. However, the typical DIY jobs are performed by males, Larkin exaggerates the fact that Arnold has to take part in house hold jobs which essentially makes him self-absorbed.
'saying won't you come for the summer'
The poet implies how Arnold feels obliged to greet 'her mother' to come 'for the summer.' This suggests that marriage creates unwanted pressure as you have to take part in tedious tasks, therefore marriage is far from desirable. Larkin also explains how he would feel like a 'swine' if he compared his life to Arnold which suggests Larkin feels sympathy for him because marriage is a trap which causes uhappiness.
'He was out for his own ends'
In the sixth stanza a change is signified as we learn that Arnold is equally as selfish as Larkin, there is no 'contrast.' Larkin describes how Arnold 'was out for his own ends' which implies no one forced Arnold into marriage, it was a choice. He also only married his wife 'for his own sake' which essentially makes Arnold as selfish as Larkin.
'At knowing what I can stand without them sending a van'
Larkin states that he has a 'better hand at knowing what [he] can stand' which implies he has made better life choices than Arnold. This conveys the message that you should always think before making drastic decisions. Larkin wouldn't be able to cope with marriage life, therefore he made the right decision by avoiding it. Moreover, the 'van' is ambiguous because it could mean that marriage can literally make you mentally unstable therefore you are taken away in a 'van.' However, the van could symbolise an ambulance, essentially meaning death. The life decisions we make can lead to devastating consequences.
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